Comrade Morondami Wants to Play Grocery Store.
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The Latest on the Supreme Court DEI Hire
Dumb as a box of rocks.
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Honored by the Left, Wrong on Everything →
Paul Ehrlich: Time and again, he predicted doom on the assumption that humanity is a plague on the Earth.
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New York Times Retracts Story Due to Several Accuracies →
The Babylon Bee reports that at publishing time, sources revealed that The New York Times had already fired one of its lead journalists for inadvertently reporting a true story.
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New Yorkers Report Warmth of Collectivism Feels Strangely Like Crushing Tax Hikes →
At publishing time, New Yorkers reported that government-owned grocery stores felt oddly similar to bread lines.
Minnesotans Escape to Somalia →
Fleeing Minneapolis for Mogadishu.
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The End of the Climate Cult →
The climatastrophe has been a terrible mistake. It diverted attention from real environmental problems, cost a fortune, impoverished consumers, perpetuated poverty, frightened young people into infertility, wasted years of our time, undermined democracy and corrupted science. Time to bury the parrot — Matt Ridley.
Government Shutdown Exposed the Biggest Lie in Education →
“For decades, teachers unions and the liberal allies they bankroll in D.C. have told the American people that without the federal bureaucracy, education would crumble,” writes Ryan Walters.
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Millions Gather to Express Total Ignorance →
“We're going to join our voices together and let the message ring loud and clear that we are uneducated rubes in desperate need of a middle-school social studies class,” said one man. Problem is, they DID have middle-school social studies, at great expense to the taxpayer, and still turned out to be rubes. Maybe there’s a connection??
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Argentina's Economy Didn't Collapse; It Roared Back to Life →
Writes Dionysis Partsinevelos, “Experts warned that electing a chainsaw-wielding libertarian outsider as president would push the country over the edge. Instead, the unthinkable happened: Argentina’s economy started working again.”
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The Downfall of the Roman Empire and the Future of American Democracy →
Dr. George Maher asks, “For all the noise and the heat of today’s debates the important questions are: Do those who are running our system know what they are doing, and do they care?”
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Trump To Dumb Down Chinese By Inviting Them To Attend U.S. Universities →
They’ll probably learn more Marxism here than in Beijing.
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Corrupt Government Officials Who Have Been Arrested For The Russia Collusion Hoax →
Updated with each arrest.
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New York May Get Government-Owned Grocery Stores →
“Mamdani’s plan to carve a substantial portion out of NYC’s food market for ‘public’ grocers, with no way of gauging their effectiveness, is a foolhardy attempt to coax voters into supporting socialism, rather than a realistic effort to help New Yorkers,” writes Connor Vasile.
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Thanks To Public School Funding Cuts, This Five-Year-Old Student Doesn't Know All The Variant Sexual Lusts Adults Can Have →
Young Logan Traylor was nearing the end of his kindergarten experience and, despite the public education system's best efforts, was discovered to have absolutely no knowledge about the shocking fetishes and perverted interests grown-ups engage in — Babylon Bee.
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Newsom Distances Himself from Newsom →
Look up “political scumbag” in the dictionary and you’ll see Newsom’s picture.
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Does the Bible Teach Blind Obedience to the State? →
The simple answer to the question is No, of course not. And few would argue the point at all. Perhaps then the better question is To what extent does the Bible teach submission to the state? The surprising answer, on closer examination, is not all that much — Jeb Smith.
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Woman Terrified of White Men Leaves Africa for Minnesota →
At publishing time, Ilhan Omar had accused white men of being the cause of black on black crime, global warming, and her low IQ — Babylon Bee
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Nine Deadly Consequences of Defunding NPR →
The world as everyone knows it is about to end. Start prepping your doomsday bunkers now — Babylon Bee.
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People Who Bypassed Legal Process to Migrate to USA Demand Legal Process Before Being Kicked Out →
At publishing time, the United States Supreme Court ruled that President Trump must stop deporting criminals since they snuck into the country fair and square.
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