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Lawrence W. Reed

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75% of Elves Laid Off After Elon Musk Visits North Pole →

December 6, 2024

At publishing time, Musk was reportedly set to lay off all of the reindeer due to providing Santa with a new electric Tesla sleigh.

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She blew through a billion →

November 11, 2024

Dumb as a rock, Kamala Harris blew through a billion dollars, enjoyed a largely sycophantic media, and ended up with nothing to show for it all but millions in debt.

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AOC Goes on "The Price is Right" →

October 9, 2024

Everything is FREE (except under capitalism).

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Biden Cheats Impeachment, But Not on the Merits →

August 22, 2024

Writes Miranda Devine, "It’s hard to find a clearer-cut case for impeachment than selling access to the White House to foreigners, including the Chinese Communist Party, for tens of millions of dollars."

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Sad: Black People Turned Away In Droves As Democrats Require Photo ID To Enter Convention →

August 21, 2024

Despite knowing that black people are not capable of obtaining photo IDs, Democrats inexplicably chose to require everyone in attendance to show identification, leaving thousands of black people unable to enter.

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Jill Biden Drops Out of Presidential Race →

July 21, 2024

Also, see “Dems Pull Off Successful Insurrection”: https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-pull-off-successful-insurrection.

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Rich Liberals in Their Jets →

July 5, 2024

“Pennyworth was unavailable for further comment, as he needed to go supervise the refueling of his private Crystal Skye jet before his cross-country flight to go on a cruise on his 350-foot yacht.”

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Can Democracy Survive the ‘Defenders of Democracy'? →

June 9, 2024

Jonathan Turley writes, “Fortunately, our democracy does not depend on any president. It was designed by James Madison to withstand the worst, not the best, motivations of our leaders.” I would add that we are not a democracy, but a republic with democratic processes.

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Biden's 10 Conditions for Debating Trump →

May 16, 2024

The only network allowed to carry debate is Al-Jazeera: Fair and balanced.

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Atheist Patiently Waits for Ikea Coffee Table to Assemble Itself →

March 2, 2024

At publishing time, word had spread that the man had died of old age without any evidence that his coffee table was any closer to being assembled than it was when he opened the box.

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Biblical Figures and their Political Parties →

February 21, 2024

Satan: Democrat. Founder of the party.

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Flag Not Working →

February 6, 2024

We’re gonna have to try something else.

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Did He Ever Do Anything Right? →

January 1, 2024

From the border to the economy, President Biden accomplished feats in 2023 that no one ever saw coming.

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Late Blooming 7-Year Old Home Schooler Struggles With Calculus →

December 14, 2023

"It's embarrassing to say out loud, but Tim still struggles with basic calculus," Mrs. Wilcott admitted to reporters. "We're hoping he's just a late bloomer."

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San Francisco Mayor Reminds Everyone To Get Their Christmas Shoplifting Done Early →

November 20, 2023

"Hard to believe the looting season is already upon us!" said Mayor Breed.

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Hamas Horror Reveals the Bigots in Our Midst →

October 13, 2023

Douglas Murray writes, “Sometimes a flare goes up in the darkness and you can see where everyone is standing.”

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9 Reasons to Just Let the Government Raise Your Kids →

October 12, 2023

California is already doing it.

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Struggling students? Let them fail — and teach them to overcome obstacles →

September 16, 2023

Jordan Lance writes, “Papering over failure only leads kids down an inescapable dark hole.”

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Liberal Dies on Toilet While Awaiting CDC Guidance →

August 28, 2023

At publishing time, a nearby liberal woman had reportedly passed away while awaiting CDC guidance on what to do after exhaling, reports the Babylon Bee.

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The 1,600% Ocean Plastic Mistake →

August 14, 2023

As with COVID and global warming, lefties loves to preach “follow the science. Too bad they don’t follow their own advice.

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Recent “Best of Web”

Featured
Democrats Promise That If Elected, Every Voter Will Give Them $5,000
September 19, 2026
Democrats Promise That If Elected, Every Voter Will Give Them $5,000
September 19, 2026

Nothing motivates Democrats more than promising to take away people's hard-earned money — Babylon Bee.

Read more →
September 19, 2026
Rob from the Rich 100% and You Still Won’t be Able to Pay the Bills
September 10, 2026
Rob from the Rich 100% and You Still Won’t be Able to Pay the Bills
September 10, 2026

Sell the yachts. Sell the stocks. Sell the businesses. Empty the bank accounts.

Read more →
September 10, 2026
Schools Abandoned Teaching Perseverance and Personal Responsibility
September 7, 2026
Schools Abandoned Teaching Perseverance and Personal Responsibility
September 7, 2026

Education should prepare students for reality, not shelter them from it. A damning indictment of the schools.

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September 7, 2026

Recent Quotes

Featured
Reed on Socialist Thinking
September 2, 2026
Reed on Socialist Thinking
September 2, 2026

Socialists think there’s no such thing as a bad poor person or a good rich person. Among socialists, it seems there’s no such thing as a thinking person — Lawrence W. Reed.

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September 2, 2026
Murphy on America
February 11, 2025
Murphy on America
February 11, 2025

“The true meaning of America, you ask? It’s in a Texas rodeo, in a policeman’s badge, in the sound of laughing children, in a political rally, in a newspaper. ... In all these things, and many more, you’ll find America. In all these things, you’ll find freedom. And freedom is what America means to the world. And to me” — Actor, poet, and the most decorated American of World War II, Audie Murphy.

Read more →
February 11, 2025
Mill on Freedom
February 1, 2025
Mill on Freedom
February 1, 2025

“The only freedom which deserves the name is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily, or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest.”

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February 1, 2025

Recent Blogs

Featured
Change Your Name? To What?
September 21, 2026
Change Your Name? To What?
September 21, 2026

One of the coolest names I’ve ever heard would be high on my list of candidates if I ever had to find a new one.

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September 21, 2026
A Forgotten Document
September 19, 2026
A Forgotten Document
September 19, 2026

Roger Sherman was the only person to sign all of the Four Great State Papers of the United States.

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September 19, 2026
Chris Baker interviews me on the American and French Revolutions
September 19, 2026
Chris Baker interviews me on the American and French Revolutions
September 19, 2026

Can you imagine Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, or any of America’s Founders ordering the murder of 200,000 people? That’s what the French Revolutionaries did to the region known as the Vendee.

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September 19, 2026